If you live in the United States, your inbox is probably stacked with subject lines centering around two themes this week: Gratitude and Black Friday Deals. There are scores of blogs and articles on the benefits of gratitude. If you're in the market for an exercise or an inspirational journal prompt to help you take stock of things to appreciate, ChatGPT can whip up whatever you want. I don't need to make a case for the power of gratitude. You've heard it before. Instead of another post that will read like the rest I’m opting to share something else that has been on my mind as I’ve opined on this theme recently. That is, the unfortunate tumble we can take from gratitude to guilt.
Sometimes when people step back and take inventory of the abundance in their lives, they start to feel guilty. It’s complex to acknowledge our privilege and hold space for our struggles."I have so much, I shouldn't feel______." This line of thinking is a fast-track to self-invalidation, which never serves us well. I would be far better to let gratitude remind us of grace, not induce guilt.
The world isn’t just. Whatever our portion or cup, it's never exclusively a result of our own work, worth, or skill. The universe doesn't give people what they deserve with accurate consistency. We contend with this reality as we look around and see puzzling pictures of unearned success and tragedy. It's dizzyingly uncomfortable and quite messy, really.
I'll never fully understand why I was born in the time or place I've had the good fortune to find myself in. I didn't pick my parents or the color of my skin. I hold tremendous privilege in so many ways. It's not fair—it's grace. Feeling guilty about what I have won't make anyone else's life better. Rather, looking beyond myself and leveraging what I’ve been given for the good of others is how I can best make an impact. My unearned grace is challenge to take responsibility. It startles me with humility.
The power of gratitude is profound. Still, it can seem, in some ways, so basic. Almost too good to be true. Perhaps that is why we often treat it like a seasonal exercise. However, if our lives are to be truly transformed by the power of thanksgiving, gratitude must be a ritual practice. We need to adopt it as mindset we continually renew and keep coming back to.
When comparison begins to steal your joy, take it back. Bring your attention to the blessings in front of you—no matter how small. Gratitude is the gateway to contentment. And it's only in that space, the place of settled, thankful presence, where we can feel whole. Where we find peace.
This unfair, imperfect life is the only one you get. Gratitude will help you make the most of it. Appreciate and savor the good that surrounds you, free of guilt or apology. Abundance isn't a sign you've done something wrong. Instead, you've been lavished with extravagant grace, so pass it on.
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