Lost in Translation
Improve your life one conversation at a time
The quality of our relationships is, in large part, the quality of our lives. Our relationships will only be as strong as our ability to communicate, so the caliber of our conversations matters. A lot. It might sound obvious, but it’s not.
You can’t read minds. No one you’re talking to can either, so it’s crucial that you master how to send and receive information effectively. It isn’t always easy to articulate yourself clearly and listen accurately, particularly when you’re talking about sensitive topics or are in a state of heightened emotion. Too often, we communicate in a way that creates noise instead of clarifying meaning. We hear but fail to listen. Communication is an art and a science. People take it for granted, but interpersonal effectiveness is not innate. It’s a skillset to learn and hone.
Core principles of high-impact communication: :
Empathy. At the core of impactful conversations is empathy. Our ability to step outside of ourselves to take and seek another person’s frame of reference changes how we listen, ask questions, and share our perspectives. When we empathize, we feel “with” someone. Engaging with empathy doesn’t require you to have an identical experience to understand or appreciate the person in front of you. Instead, it creates a connection point around shared emotion that is part of the human experience for everyone.
Attention. Unfractured attention and focus are critical elements of effective listening. Be a student of the person in front of you. Get out of your head. Stop planning what you’re saying next. Pay attention to the signals your conversation partner is sending you. Not everything they want you to know will be spoken out loud. Your exchange is rife with cues you should tune in to. If you miss them, you might lose the plot.
Humility. When engaging in conversation, set aside the need to be right. If your conversational goal is to win, prove yourself, convince, or come out on top, you’re missing something important. Focus on learning, not convincing. Stay open so you can get smarter and discover something new.
Openness. You won’t scrub yourself free from judgment or bias, but work to set aside preconceived notions. Stay curious. If you’re calling someone or something into question, remember that human behavior is complex. When we boil it down, people usually aren’t trying to make bad decisions or piss people off–they’re trying to survive.
Self-awareness. To be a successful communicator, you need to understand and own what you bring to the conversation. We are most effective in our relationships when we can recognize the way our current emotional state, internal narrative, and lived experience influence how we speak and what we hear.
Every time we engage with someone, we have a choice—forge connection or create a rift. What you say can make or break someone’s day. Be thoughtful about the words you chose, your timing, and your tone. When someone shares with you, shut up and listen. Never underestimate the power of your presence. When you mess up, own it. Misunderstandings happen. Treat the cracks in your communication as chances to grow. When we choose restoration in the space of our interpersonal fault lines, trust deepens and relationships strengthen.
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