Guilt is for the courtroom, not your kitchen
“I’ll start my diet Monday,” was the refrain I read as I scrolled my social media feed last weekend. The first of the year fresh start year had passed. People were already pushing off the new things they were pledging to start.
Many New Years' aspirations involve food and weight. Nutrition is an area where the knowing-doing gap is wide. A lot of people tumble inside and stay stuck. The relationship with physical health that people want is often not the one that they have. Some individuals spend a lifetime fighting with their weight and battling their bodies. Why is this? Genetics? Gut microbiota? Willpower? The availability of highly-palatable processed food? Hormones? Imbalanced energy math? I posit that a part of it has to do with psychology.
Food is emotional currency. It can be a go-to in times of joy, fear, anger, sadness, and anxiety. People use food to reward and replace love. They use it to self-soothe, numb, distract, and escape. It is useful to understand the functions that food plays in your life. What non-nutritional needs does food meet for you?
If you learn new ways to sit with, identify, and process feelings, your relationship with food may change. Things can shift significantly in your life when you discover how to truly be with yourself. Still, paying attention—for an extended period of time. If you can start to do this, you may find yourself off the scale and out of the mirror.
Food can be addictive. So can restriction. Unlike other substances, abstinence from eating is not an option. Food is forever. People have to figure out how to eat multiple times every day for the rest of their life. It isn't always easy to do this in a balanced, healthy way. We exist in a cultural milieu that blasts messages about food and weight that create conflict and confusion. Many peoples’ food baseline is fractured. The struggle is widespread, but that doesn't mean it isn't serious.
Thinking in eating extremes is psychologically problematic. Your language matters. A lot. Unfortunately, unhelpful word choices about eating are often automatic. Food is frequently deemed “good” or “bad.” While these words may seem innocuous, the mental impact they pack can leave someone carrying significant psychological weight. When you tell yourself you can't have something, your desire for the forbidden usually increases. Turning a restrictive mindset inside out and replacing "can" and "can't" with "choose" or "choose not to" can be beneficial.
Eating is emotionally electric, so your mindset matters. The internal narrative that someone has “messed up” by eating something they regret sets for discouragement. In this headspace, a person is more likely to give up and abandon a goal. When someone swallows something they believe they “shouldn’t” eat, sometimes the result is shame. This emotional state stymies motivation.
Some people adopt a calculated, compensatory relationship with food. This can be a slippery slope to unhealthy places. You probably don’t make your friends or family “earn” their food, so why should you?
I don't know what you did or didn't start on Monday. It doesn’t really matter.
If you are ready to be done with preoccupation, dissatisfaction, and discouragement, you can start today. Begin by asking yourself: What is the next best step?
Stop hopping on and falling off a wagon.
Just start walking.
Hungry for more? You can hear me talk more on this topic here.
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