Boundaries are more than a buzzword
Boundaries are more than a buzzword. Our ability to set limits with ourselves and others is one of the most important things we can do to lead a healthy life and enjoy fulfilling relationships.
Boundaries are preventative medicine for resentment.
Often people will agree to things they don’t really want to do because they are driven by a desire to please. They begrudgingly say “yes” because of an internal story they are listening to about disappointing others. They forecast that their “no” will elicit an negative emotional response from someone else and recoil at the potential of having to tolerate this discomfort. Many people swallow their wishes and agree to lots of things that don’t serve them. The price of this tradeoff can be stress, eroded self-respect, and relational strain.
Having boundaries requires courage. People get better at setting limits the more they practice relationally drawing lines of self-protection. Practice begets confidence.
One of the reasons people struggle to stand up for themselves and maintain their ground because they don’t want to “make someone feel” something. It’s crucial to understand that you cannot control someone else’s reaction; therefore, you don’t need to take responsibility for it. Instead, focus on what you can control and take ownership over these aspects of your interactions. If you suspect you will say something someone won’t be excited to hear, carefully consider the timing of a conversation, your tone, and the language you choose to convey your message. These factors are within your scope of influence. The way someone else receives and responds to your message is not.
Sometimes, people who make requests that you desperately want to decline are secretly relieved or even inspired to hear “no.” Boundaries are a widespread struggle for many people. Watching others live them in an overcommitted, overscheduled world creates valuable modeling. If you give yourself license to say “no” you may, in turn, be creating powerful permission to the people around you to develop a similar practice.
"No." is one of the most powerful one-word sentences in your vocabulary.
Don't be afraid to use it more often.