Suicide does not discriminate according to socioeconomic class, level of education, or occupational achievement. It tragically slices life short for far too many bright, gifted people who have tremendous promise and potential. The emotional aftermath of suicide is devastating. In the wake of loss, survivors of suicide frequently remark, “I would never have guessed. . . he/she/they had so much going for him/her/them.” Most people don’t wear the darkness of their depression on the outside for the world to see.
As a psychologist, I’m frequently asked, “What do I say or do if I’m concerned about someone’s safety?” Many individuals worry that asking someone about suicide will possibly plant ideas in his/her/their mind and push an individual toward suicide. I want to dispel that myth. Asking, “Have you thought about, tried to, or taken steps to end your life?” will not nudge someone in that direction. You are asking a question, not making a suggestion. You can’t create suicidality through a caring, concerned conversation. Your question may reveal preexisting pain, but it doesn’t make you responsible for it.
Having the courage to ask someone about suicide may ultimately save a life. When a person is suicidal, it can come as a welcome relief to have someone recognize they are struggling. Many people appreciate the courage it takes to say something out loud, even if it means having a challenging conversation. Usually, it’s far more uncomfortable for someone to be left alone in their suffering.
If you are worried about the safety or mental health of someone in your life, it’s crucial that they meet with a professional who can provide an assessment and connect them with appropriate services. If you ever have concerns about a person’s imminent safety, you can:
Call 911
Contact the police department in the jurisdiction where the person you are worried about is physically located to request a safety and welfare check
Accompany the individual to the nearest emergency room for a psychological evaluation by a trained professional
When you ask questions, you don’t have to have perfect answers. You don’t have to be a therapist. Just be a person—there, with them in their pain. Be present. There is tremendous power in listening, expressing concern, and helping someone take steps to connect with additional support.
It takes courage to talk about a topic as serious as suicide. If you are conflicted about starting a conversation, consider what you would regret more: surviving a discussion or a death.
Always ask.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
800-273-8255
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